October 2011
3 posts
In the ugliest of times, I want to write beautiful words. Write a blanket of flowery anthems to wrap myself in until I stop shaking and can get out of bed to face the day.
September 2011
1 post
4 tags
July 2011
1 post
April 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Watchthis is the most awesomest thing in the world.
seawitchery:
I started out clicking strategically… and by the end was just wildly clicking and dancing in my chair.
biancavirina:
CLICK THE SQUARES.
THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.
THIS THIS THIS THIS!
February 2011
1 post
November 2009
1 post
today is not the day to go out wearing glitter or fangs. damn, there goes my outfit.
October 2009
4 posts
Another great resource for answers →
Sex and a healthier you is another great resource in the women’s arsenal of information.
Runway Models are clothes hangers, people
Karl recently said there was no place on a runway for the “runde.” (Round, curvy, chubby, et al) He was called out for having dressed women like Beth Ditto and non-twiggy people like Lilly Allen. My answer? Karl likes who he likes, and dresses whom he will. However, you’ll never catch Beth Ditto on the Chanel runway, or stomping the catwalk in Fendi furs. Know why? The point of...
September 2009
3 posts
Sexual mechanics for tall chicks who have short...
So I’m short, hence my name, Midge. As in Midget. I’ve had my own set of challenges with sexual positions, but none of the “important” ones have ever been tough to manage. Usually just things like laying on one’s side. Recently, though, I was contacted by a tall girl (5’9”) whose boyfriend is short (about 5’7”.) They are having some troubles...
Update: Caster Semenya
So she’s still a girl. With some genetic abnormalities that the governing bodies of sports including the IAAF (International Association of Athletics Federation) are continuing to investigate. However, her testosterone levels are “within the official limits” for a woman.
The latest claim is that Semenya does not have a uterus or ovaries, but does posess internal testes making...
Guess what? She's a She!
In the world’s most un-shocking news, Caster Semenya, the record shattering runner from South Africa we told you about before, has dropped her pants and submitted to humiliating tests all to prove that she IS a woman, and DOES have the right to wear the medals she’s earned for spanking the competition.
While all of this vindicates her, it certainly doesn’t make up for the hurt...
August 2009
4 posts
BUST Mag is on top of it today! →
South African track star Caster Semenya runs so fast, she beat her opponent in the 800 meter dash by almost 2 and a half seconds. So how does the governing body and the International Olympic Committee reward this accomplishment? By demanding she pull down her pants and let them touch her va-jay-jay. Yes folks, that’s right. They’ve orderd a “gender test.”
Semenya’s...
Leave the damned woman alone! →
Michelle Obama can’t catch a break. Her shorts are too “commonplace” for a woman who is the wife of the man elected as the voice of the “common people.” Not to mention she’s a woman who has long since earned the right to wear what she wants, when she wants. Once again, the ladies at BUST Magazine are on top of this so I can pass it along down the blogosphere.
Stop Thief!
dontmesswithmidgets:
There’s a special rung in hell reserved for thieves of bikes and boards (skate, snow, and surf alike.) Between 1:35 and 5:00pm today, someone stole my bike while it was locked up with a 1/4” chain and padlock outside my building. At this point, I’ve filed a police report, called the bike shop for the serial number (and to place an APB and official beat down request),...
“don’t be a dubba, wear a rubba.”
– LT - the little bro
July 2009
12 posts
A "missed connection" →
Brilliance is borne from boredom, and here is the proof!
This is how Premarin is made →
dontmesswithmidgets:
Indeed, as Sue said, it is from the urine of pregnant mares. My response was “yay! imagine some great horse-piss cream in your vagina!” Appetizing, isn’t it ladies?
“Re: when do women stop “needing sex” —- isn’t Premarin made from mare’s...”
– Sue, a reader in Toronto, Canada (via dontmesswithmidgets)
Celebrate! →
Someone has gone ahead and dedicated a day (August 8, 2009) as One World Orgasm Day. So make sure to mark your calendars, fill up your dance card, buy new batteries, stock up on condoms, or whatever you need to do. I just thought it was silly fun.
When do women "stop needing sex?"
dontmesswithmidgets:
I was reading Newsweek, and there was a large, 3 page ad for Premarin, a new vaginal cream designed for post-menopausal women to “restore vaginal tissues…help relieve dryness, and even painful intercourse.”
Skip to next paragraph of delight. “And you don’t need to keep using it forever; just as long as you need treatment.” WHAT? Cue important safety information like...
You don't have to hide your toys anymore! →
Some industrious folks found amazing household uses for all kinds of sex toys. One or two might work around my house!
4 tags
Closing the deal
Dear Midge,
my problem is this, when I am a solid setting with a girl where the vibe is nice and everything, say coming back from a party/night out and I am with her in a small group setting, how do I get her to come with me to another room where the hook up can happen? Also what are some obvious and general signs that girls make when they are interested in a guy? Also Is it best to somewhat...
4 tags
Read This Book
Mary Roach has quickly earned a place in my heart as one of my favorite authors. She is bold, fearless, and writes about sex (and dead bodies, but not at the same time) in a scholarly, yet hilarious way. I aspire to be her.
Please read Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. Support your local bookstore, and help our economy grow by keeping your dollars at home. I guarantee you that if...
Sex toy safety 101
We live in an age where with the click of a button, you can have just about any device or apparatus for sexual pleasure shipped to your house in a few days. The times, they are a changin’. Sex education used to be penis-vagina-egg-fertilized-baby-made. Then it included condom-resevoir tip-don’t get STDs. Well, even though they can’t really teach what I will in schools, it’s...
Deep boning?
Dear Midge,
Does the vagina ever “pack out” or is it going to hurt every time my boyfriend goes deep forever and ever?
Sincerely,
Too Short
Dear Too Short,
While the vagina doesn’t “pack out” per se, there are a few things that can help make the hard boning more fun for you.
First, if you aren’t used to it, it will take a bit of time to get there. Second,...
IUDs and why you should consider them
The IUD - Intra Uterine Device. Birth control that lasts between 5-10 years and can be removed at any time. Has over 99% effectiveness, and requires no maintenance. Sound good? That’s why it’s the #1 choice of lady doctors for themselves. You should know a few things before taking the leap, though.
1. It does not protect against STDs. Your doctor will ask if you are in a monogamous...
this is where sex will get you →
Sadly, there are no breeding licenses. Take matters into your own hands. Ladies, if it works for you, use condoms AND get an IUD. Trust me.
June 2009
4 posts
Here's a question I was asked on Facespace:
Dear Midge -
I’m currently far away from my husband. How do I find a way to combat the loneliness?
Sincerely,
Needing Snuggles
Dear Needing Snuggles: In response to your question, when separated by distance from a loved one, technology is our best defense against loneliness. Try a video chat program (they’re free) like Skype, or my preferred version, Google Video. With a free...
Questions? Emailz!
These days, I’m less into being cattle driven into corporate America, and more into taking a breather to find more meaningful ways to use my time. This one is a volunteer one, but it’s a start. So make me feel useful with emails to midgeknows@gmail.com.
So this is how it goes...
I’ve learned a lot about love, sex, relationships, and general mental and physical health and well-being over the years, and am game to learn more every day. I like to help people. I really do; it’s a need. So email me what’s setting you on fire right now. I want to know, and I think everyone will benefit from the answers. Even me!
Email your queries of any kind, no matter how...